SNED: The Epic Tale
by sned
Summary: A story featuring the characters of the SNED community. Not recommended for newcomers.
1. SNED: The Epic Tale

SNED: The Epic Tale

A person named Omily was going to ypres which was in france or maybe Belgium. She was on a bus with other people who were as Cornish as her or maybe more. In the bus was a meg who was chatting up a gingerbread man and also megs mum who was trying to sell the driver a dragon dildo.

The bus arrived at the place and a man in a suit was there and he said "omily I am kidnappping you" and omily said that was fine.

But omilys best friend Will who had pink hair and a retarded mouth said "NO THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND WHO I TELL AMAZING JOKES TOO" and he tried to chase after the sports car that sam who was the mans name had.

But sam threw a keg of beer out the window and it crushed will and stuck in his mouth.

Meanwhile in the police a super intendant inspector commander corperal called Alexis was using her spy sattelite to look at omily. She saw the kidnapping and was shocked "I must protect her purity" she said but realised she was not in france or maybe Belgium. But then a phone rang and she answered. A voice said "we must the omily, coem to thw window"

Alexis looked outside and a man with antlers was flying a helicopter, she did not trust him due to his rapestare but went along with it. Together they flew to ypres and found the sportscar.

Alexis brought out her assault rifle with bayonet attached which alos had a taser attached which had a dog lead on it where there was a dog with tasers for teeth on it. Dor also tried to exit the helicopter but his antlers stuck on the blades and flung him back to the England. Alexis shoot at the sam but he dodged because his suit gave him super speed. Using lots of alchol he had molotolov cock tails and threw them. Alexis got hit but was not dead.

Soon she had the upper hand again using her police brutality but then dor who was back home decided to help sam and called an air strike. On a parachute, swagsket flew down and landed on sams head as a helmet. Alexiz could not defeaet the swag force field around sam. But omily said "here" and threw a helmet at alexis who wore it and became the strongest again. She nocked sma to the floor and was about to finish him off but then a cry was heard acorss the battlefield

And a man swug from a tree down.

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEGGURS"

It was pow and his sister who had a wedding dress on. Pow used his super strength to throw alexis off a cliff but as she fell she grabbed omily and flew away in the helicopter. Pow said "you must marry powdisis because I rescued you sam" and sam agreed.

They had the wedding in france or maybe Belgium and lived happily forever and had 33 children. Omily was never seen again or was she.

Then end?


	2. SNED: The Epicer Tale

Part 2:

Sam and pow and dor decideed to try to rescue an omyil from alexis. They had a plan to raid her house with lots of weapons but when they went they found it empty.

"how coul this have been made to even happen!" explained pow or maybe dor.

Sam said "my physics sense is tingling" and then they turned on the TV where the news was.

Alexis had stolen the higgs bassoon and was using it to make a mchine that goes really fast. She was so fast that they would never rescure omily.

But then ideas began to happen inside dors brain material.

"we must find a man to teach us to be GOING FAST"

And they set off to find a man called Michael Le Shit who lived in the neverending moutain so he could ski forever.

As they set off a myserious person came to them and began talking "hello I am groeg would you like me to help?"

Everyone except pow, dor and sam said yes so he tagged along.

First they came to a cliff and nobody could climb it. Then groeg transformed into his magical goat form and scaled it and let down a ladder.

Then they came to a mountain on a convayer belt. it was the neverending mouthain.

A man was skiing forever and the group went up to him.

"Oh Michael Le Shit lend us your GOING FAST powers" but he was silent even though they waited more many months.

Meaning while in the higgs machine that was going fast due to science omily was being tied up by alexis for extra security. Suddenly a giant apple with rainbow trail flung from the sky onto the machine. It smashed together and 3 people emerged.

2 of them were omily and alexis but the other was not known. "I am sven" said sven.

"my spaceship has crashed but I am here to kidnap you" alexis and omily said that was fine.

Back at the mountain, Michael had been kilded by the others because he was 2shit4them. They decided to go fast another way using groegs bee form combined with sams suit speed and dors swag powers. Pow had gone home to tongue anus.

But then a broadcast happened across the world. An alien people called the svenlings had kidnapped the omily and the worlds strongest police person.

Can an alliance be formed to save them?

No.

What happens?

Find out on the next chapter.

Bonus paragraph:

During this chapter powdisis was knitting a lot of clothes for the 33 children she was now pregnant with.


	3. SNED: The Epic Tale 3: Electric Boogabee

Part 3: The lol before the strom

The group tried to use the GOING FAST suit but the forceds nearly died there bodies. Thy needed a better plan.

Meanwhile at the government, all the politics decides to use nukes on the svenlingds giant apple shaped space shit. Suddenly a voice rungs out. "you cannt because my alexiz is on up there" it was david and from his sentences it was clearn nobody knew moch about his personality. "I will stop you he said" he said and grabbed the nukes and ran away.

Meanwhile on the Sven ship and the svenlings were prppping for war. But then the sven leader saif "maybe we can stop a war and finish this with a dual, but first put the 2 prisoners in the kinky cell where no guards are there to see them"

Alexis said this was fine but omily was nervus.

Then back at the group on the maontain there were getting abother broadcast. It was the aliens and they wanted a duel. The conditions said both sides need a giant robot. Sam jazzed himself.

The group set out to build one, it would be an epic quest prehaps?

The body was built be sam. He constructed a suit shaped body made of a metal alloy that he invented made of titanium and alcohol. He called it 10hpium.

Pow was at home tonging anus when he realised it was a giant robor anus and decided to use it on the bottom half. He needed legs though so went tu the Michael and cut off his legs.

Meanhwile groeg was meditation on a remote swamp. He needed the essense of his goat and b forms but first had to fight with them inside his own mind.

Billy said "ur a human and shit at climbing mountains"

Groeg replied

climbing mountaings  
2012  
shiggidydiggiedydoobilly

And billy was defeated but the bee was very strong.

The bee stung him on the arm and groeg waas hurt but then the bee died from his injuries because bee warfare is retarted like that. Groeg replied with a 12million decibel LOL.

After the meditattions groeg built 2 robot arms, 1 was a goat hoof and the other was a bee sting.

meaninghilt dor was snooping into omilys house which he knew was a giant pasty. He arrived into the village and didn't know where her house was (because all the houses were giant pastys) so asked inside the local pub. SUDDENLY 6000 PUBMONSTERS ATTACKED HIM AND HE HAD TO RUNAWAY OHSHITSOHSHITOHSHIT.

Lucklilly the pasty he hid inside was omilys pasty because of the big sign over the door saying "omilys pasty". whatwilldorfindinside? Tobecontinuated…


	4. SNED: The Epic Tale 4: SNED Harder

Part 4: Where dor dies or does he (see, suspense and everything)

A man called dor was climbing through omilys hot and meaty pasty. He went upstars and saw a man in a flowing white robe and a turban. "I am Lawrence of araribia" he spoke at him. "If you want the treasure ibnside of my sistors rom then you'll hav to beat me in a fight"

Dor tried to negotiate with the 9 foot man but he was out smarted as follows"let me thru"

"no""what about now"

"njo"

So dor charged at him with the antlers he had but the brother didged and threw sand in his eyes. Dor was blind and was dragged away to be killed and turned into a pasty.

Meanwhile in another room omilys other brother was bored. He dicided to copy everything omily did but didn't know where to find someone to kidbnap him. Then he saw his brother dargging a man with antlers to the oven. "NOOO" he muttered and grabbed him from him. "you r a shit bro, give me this man to kipnap me"

But then dor was only pretending to be blind and he jumped up an used his ninja skills to lock tem into the overn. "hehe now I shall be the winner he yelled" BUT omily parents arrived into the room that the events you have been reading were taking planc into.

Dor said he had killed their sons, they said this was fine.

Then dor went to get the mediumevil hlemet that omily had. He used it with his fedora to create the giants robot hed.

The group then set to built they're robot and it took lots of days Or perhaps only 1.

Sam was chorsen to pilot it to space and he did.

Up in space the svenling robot was finished.

It was ahueg apple in a rainbow coloured corset thingy with rainbow lace on it and a blak and rainbow miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale ti wuz. It had a really nice body wif big canons and everthing.

But then the leader of the alien came and it was Sven. He said "terrible happens, alexis is die"

Same: "no"

And omily?


	5. SNED: The Epic Tale 5: The Final Finale

Part 5: The Final Finale

The svenling spapeship blowed up. A giant person was in the wreckage and had been killing alxexiz. "it is the legendary beast, Posh Lesbian!" yelled sven from his applies "I must into running away" he explanted

"no!" said sam bravenly, we must fight it off and so he did. But then he knew it was omily all along.

A few minuts erlier: omily went into a berzerz rage to defend from alexis's's kinky powers. She had becopm Post Lesbian (and grew bear arms and was now 20 metres tall).

But now: "svon, jin me to fight omily, we must protect the earthw which she is falling towards because even though we are in space the gravity is still effecting" sed sam

Sven agreed to do this and the mechs transformed together to make 1 bigger one.

Sam piloted the body, the stinger and the head, sven piloted the goat arm. The legs were not piloted becuz it was space.

"sven punch with the sheep hoof" said sma

But on the earth groeg said "NOIT IS GOAT" and ths schock wave blasted at sam and he was deafened. Meanwhile posh lesbian and ripped apart the allien fleet with her massive bear arms. The robot fried a stinger at omily but it was not good enough to break her lesbian force feeld

Then sam was done beeing deaf. He flew at omily but shed oged and kept going to earth. Sullenly alexis said "guys im not dead" but she was not heard except for david who has magic psychic powers (but was tarped in scotishland).

Emily charged at the mech and broke it so hard that it stopped moving and indeed of most. As she was about to finish it off a msyerius voice showeted.

"NO EMILY YOU CANNOT LESBIAN BECUS LESBIANS DO NOT UNDERTSAND ME SUPRERIOR HUMOR!"

It was Will. The sun reflected onto his hair and the bright pink blinded omily for enough time tp take place so that megs mum hit her iwh a giga-dragon dildo.

"Emily you must learn to love the dick" she said imparting her meggy wisodom.

Omily was nocked uncociencious and back to earth along with the rest. When she woke up all her freds were there including her brothers who ere cooked and alexis who had been rescued probably. Omyil had been cured of her posh lesbianity

After the batt;e a statue was made for Will who was now Hero of Earth.

Megs mum sold her new book around the world called "50 dragons of dildo"

Omily and friends live happily ever after (maybe)

But in the futuer new enemies were stirring, and they lived in charity shops…


End file.
